As I sat in the RE clinic listening to the nurse go over my medical history, procedural information, and consent forms I was flooded with a an overwhelming number of emotions.  The reality of our loss resurfaced and the inequity of our situation settled in my stomach.  I was angry, and sad, discouraged, and hopeful.  Every step of this process reminds me of the one thing we don’t have – a baby of our own.  And though I am moving forward, I can’t help but struggle with the fact that nothing has been easy in this journey.  It seems once I’ve tackled one battle another looms on the horizon.

My hopes are that the hysteroscopy with  D&C next week, followed by 28 days of intense hormone therapy, will prep my body for 9 months of change.   I felt fine with the decision when we made it, and I will do anything within my means necessary to make this happen, but after my pre-op consults I am finding myself nervous, or fearful, of what could be found.  My track record has not proven smooth.  I keep telling myself this is procedure is more preventative then corrective, but that uncertainty is still there.

So as begin to prep for my surgery, order my medications, and prepare myself for this FET cycle I will likely continue to feel overwhelmed.  But I look towards the possibilities, and that moves me forward each day.  I prayed for the gift of life for my birthday…I will do the same this December for Christmas.


Categories: Donations, Emotions, Hysteroscopy with D&C, Infertility, Procedures | Leave a comment

Helping My Dreams Come True

Here goes nothing…

This past month my husband and I were told that our only means for achieving a viable pregnancy would be through IVF – In Vitro Fertilization. I was shocked to hear the news, especially since my previous Reproductive Endocrinologist NEVER mentioned the issues the new doc mentioned. After my new doc reviewed my files, he showed me my blood work, as well as my husband’s semen analysis and explained the probabilities of pregnancy with our numbers…basically ZERO without IVF. I left the consult confused, scared, frustrated, and with a heavy heart. How on earth will Joe and I afford IVF ($12-15,000 for one cycle)? Do I really need it? Are our numbers really that bad?

After lots of research on line I discovered that my new doc was right…our numbers do not lend themselves to natural pregnancies (even after we rechecked all the numbers). IVF is a MUST if we want a baby of our own.

Now, to scrape up the money necessary to help our dreams come true…as a teacher, that kind of money just doesn’t accumulate in my savings and our insurance will only minimally cover the cost of medications. So, we’ve started selling of books, movies, jewelery, and am hoping somebody will want to by my wedding dress. Still that leaves us close to $8,000 away from our goal of $12,000.

This is where you come in…I realize this is only my second post and many of you may not know me, but if you can find it in your hearts to donate $5 or $10 (or whatever you feel you can/want) we would be eternally grateful. And sharing our story, and this site to those who may be able to support us, or need support of their own (understanding that you are not alone may help with some of the pain associated with infertility) would be an amazing help.

Joe and I hope to raise enough money (through this site, yard sales, amazon sales, etc) that we will be able to try IVF in 3-4 months…before my 35th birthday.

Thanks for your support!

Categories: Donations, Emotions, Infertility Testing, My History, Procedures | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

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