A Thousand Directions

Tired, stressed, fighting (gonna say fighting and not nursing) a cold, and feel like I am being pulled in a thousand directions. Not good for someone riddled with hormones! I pray this insanity will lead to a baby!!!

I am going to bed.

-R

Progesterone Start

Tonight starts 7 days of oral progesterone. The final step in clearing the irregular lining from my uterus and replacing it with a happy, healthy lining capable of welcoming new life. This also marks the the end of our waiting, and the start of preparation for our FET. Acupuncture starts in 2 1/2 weeks, consent forms need signed, calendars filled with appointments, and another medication regimen will begin.

I am ready for this to move forward, and more so to get the news I have waited for my whole life.

-R

Post Operative Update

Its been 2 weeks since my hysteroscopy with D&C and after rescheduling my post-op due to work conflicts, I finally was able to discuss the results of my procedure with our RE.   After my procedure I spent days on the internet trying to determine what a “normal” uterine lining looked like but only found myself more confused than when my husband handed my surgical photos two weeks ago.  So, finally being able to hear the RE’s explanation was a relief.

In short, I have an irregular uterine lining.  Some pockets looked good and healthy, while others lacked.  I also had one, small, finger-like growth (which I forgot to ask what it was called, but looks like polyps that I found pictures of on the internet) within the uterus.  So my RE “scrapped” my lining and removed the irregular growths.  At the appointment I was given an ultrasound to check the growth of my lining and the RE said that everything looks great and that I’m on track to move forward with an FET as soon as my Estrogen/progesterone therapy is complete (2 more weeks).

I thank God every day that I was able to f ind a team that is honest and is trying to do everything to ensure my hubby and I are able to have the family we dream of.  The hysteroscopy with D&C was a suggestion that our RE made based on the fact that I spot before my period starts, a “pocket” seen during my hysteroscopy in May,  and the fact that my hcg levels (at time of IVF) lead him to believe that there was an implantation issue (possible implantation in an area of the uterus that was irregular).   Our RE did not tell us it was mandatory before he would do an FET, but it was recommended.  I’m glad we did it.  As each day passes I find myself more optimistic about the outcome of our upcoming FET.

At the end of my appointment our RE shared with me that we have 11 embryos waiting in the wings and he is confident we will not need them all to build the family we dream of.  He talked to me about the fact that they have an embryo donation program that allows individuals who are unable to make it to this point (eggs and sperm joining to build an embryo) build their family using embryos donated by individuals like my husband and I.  This is something we had already discussed, that if there was an option available to donate our embryos, we would be more than happy to help a couple build a family.  Every day I wonder if good can come from this pain.  But having renewed hope and the knowledge that we can help others going through this hurt allows me to find peace.

Praying things work out, not only for us, but all those who struggle.

-R

I May Just Be Loosing My Mind

Since starting Estrace after my D & C it has become increasingly clear that my “word-finder”has gone into hibernation! I find my self stopped in mid sentence with no idea where to go. Names and words slid from my tongue before I am able to articulate them and seconds (that feel like minutes) pass before I can regroup and figure out what I was saying and finish my thought. Not good for a teacher during parent teacher conferences! My brain hurts from trying to sound like I know what I am doing for the past 12 hours!

Thankfully just two more weeks!

-R

Hysteroscopy D&C

We left our house at 6 AM yesterday in order to get to the hospital by 6:30.  I was nervous and tired since I didn’t sleep well the night before (sometimes nerves get the better of me!).  When my RE came in he explained the procedure again and then told us that he would not be able to speak with me because he had back to back surgeries, but would share the outcome with my hubby.  Once he left the room we waited for another 30-40 minutes before being rolled down to the OR.

I don’t remember much of the OR, just that there was my anesthesiologist, 2 nurses, my RE, and a weird bed with a hole where my butt was positioned.  I went under quickly, I remember a few breaths in the oxygen mask and nothing else.  I woke up in the recovery room with a little cramping, groggy, and thirsty.  Maybe an hour later Joe came back and they let me go to the bathroom, get dressed, and go home.

Unfortunately, our RE was unable to speak with Joe in detail regarding what was found during the hysteroscopy D&C.  The RE wanted to explain what was going on in my uterus using the pictures they took during the procedure, but there were issues with the printer. By the time they were able to print the photos our RE only had time to deliver them and told Joe he would discuss them with us later.  But because of back to back surgeries we didn’t see him before leaving the hospital.  So now I wait until my post-op appointment on the 15th to make sense of the photos that were taken.  The one thing our RE was able to share was that everything went without issue and that he is confident our next transfer will be a success!  I pray this is true.

Today I am home resting.  At discharge they said no driving until around noon today (24 hours after release from the hospital) and to take it easy through this evening.

-R