Colorado Fires 2012

Fires and Fear

Most people who live in the US are probably aware that Colorado is in dire need of  moisture and nearly a dozen large fires threaten thousands of lives (both human and animals) and homes; many near the Denver  area.  It is disheartening to see the flames, smoke, and devastation the flames have left behind.  As I watered my tomato plants I felt guilty for complaining that we have to water nearly every day to keep our grass from dying.  At least I have a home that is not threatened by these fires.  Please send prayers, and if you are able, a financial donation to the Colorado Red Cross to help the thousands of people who have lost their homes, are displaced, and those who risk their lives to fight the fires.

(photo found on the  9 News Website, click photo to see more)

With fires on the horizon, the fear I have around IVF has bubbled up and formed tears born of fear and, at some level, excitement.  I’m not sure how this whole process will play out, and that is hard to handle.  I am angry at the injustice of this diagnosis – socially, emotionally, and financially.  I called my husband as I drove home from work and told him it was time for me to call the RE and let them know my cycle has started and to get further instructions on when to start birth control pills and then get medications ordered and my calendar mapped out.  As I told him, tears filled my eyes and I had to choke back tears in order to keep from running off the road. My husband assured me we would be fine, and could face whatever we are handed.

I haven’t made the call to the RE’s office.  Making that call turns this dream into reality.   At this exact moment I’m not sure I’m ready for that.


Categories: Colorado Fires 2012, Emotions, Infertility | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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